Things to Know, Remember, Love, and Cherish

Today (well yesterday actually since its now past midnight) Tristan turned 10 months old. It is hard to believe how fast time is flying by. Even though I started this blog shortly after Tristan's birth, I realize I haven't been journaling his life and development. I recently was really impressed by a friend's (Megan!) scrapbook of her son's whole first year- taken mostly from her blog. It make me thing "I wish I would have done that!"

So here are things to remember, love and cherish this night on his 10 month birthday.

Tristan has 8 teeth right now. What a fast teeth-er! Yikes. He got his first tooth towards the end of his 4th month. That means we went from colic pains straight to teething pains. One of his teeth has a yellow spot. The dentist said that tooth will be more prone to decay. Great. I'm pretty sure he must be getting some new teeth soon because he has been chewing and biting on everything, all the time.

Tristan is a biter. He will bite and pull hair. Almost every morning, when inevitably both of the boys are in the big bed with me, Tristan wakes up first (usually around 7-7:30, sometimes as late as 8:30 if we got to bed late). He sits up in bed, all happy, and will do the following until I get myself and him out of bed: pull on Garrett's hair and play with the pictures on the wall. The results- Garrett crying in pain and the pictures often falling down (or almost fall down since I"m prepared to catch them at this point.)

Tristan will also bite when he is hungry. He will also be crawling and will do a dive bomb, face colliding with the carpet. He is apparently trying to bite the floor because he is hunger or tired. Or both. He pulls on his ears when he is tired.

When he was very little I always seemed to get the worse pictures of him- he could make really "ugly" facial expressions back then and I always seemed to capture them on camera. Now, he has a great gorgeous smile. I think he is posing for the camera sometimes (well, I think he is actually posing for him mamma!) But really- he is just so happy. If he looks up and we lock eyes together, he gives this great smile. He puts his teeth together and gives a big grin!

Look at that grin!

Tristan is a very happy baby. Except when he is not. My friend, Sommer, calls this a "hot\cold" baby. Another way to think of it is this: whatever he is feeling, he is feeling fully and passionately. (He throws pretty good baby tantrums complete with throwing himself on the floor!)

He is a go-getter. I call him a "bulldozer." I see him get an idea in his head and he simply goes for it. This is so very opposite from Garrett. He sees a little girl at church crawling around? Lets just go up to her and pull on her bow, maybe bite (aka kiss?) her, maybe pull her hair or take her toy. Lets show this trait in its more positive side. A picture might work better then words here:

Jello? Let's dive in!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These picture's were taken at cousin Hope's first birthday party. Aunt Heather put these bowls of jello down for the babies to play in. The other two babies? They where not so sure about things at first and took their time experimenting. Tristan? "Hey, whats this? Lets dive in!"  (I have great video's from this activity! Aunt Heather is so creative!)

Tristan by far has the cutest baby butt. Fat. Chubby. It is just so cute. I'm going to be sure to tell him that when he is, oh, I don't know, about 15. Here is photographic prof.

Speaking of chubby, fastness. Tristan weight at least 23 pounds as of a few weeks ago. He is big (and I'm reminded of that when I see other babies his age) but his weight gain has slowed down. He is not huge anymore. I knew that would happen and am glad for it.

Eating: this boy loves to eat! (Something else that is very different from big brother.) Whenever anyone around him is eating, he wants to eat too! And if he doesn't get it he will let you know he is not happy. He will cry and fuss and fuss (boy, can't wait until he learns some sign language!) He doesn't eat a lot as far as quantity goes though. He also prefers to do it all himself. He will let me feed him a bit with a spoon but he would much rather grab it from my hands and do it all by himself. He also loves drinking from cups and is very good at drinking from a straw. One cute incident: trying to leave Chick-fil-A, I had my arms full carrying him, y milkshake, and the high chair. He got a hold of the straw to the milkshake and was just drinking away as I carried him out. A man saw him and laughed and said "he really likes that milkshake!" 

Tristan really was very motivated to eat from a pretty young age. But his development just wasn't where it needed to be in order to eat solid foods successfully. He wanted food so bad, so I would let him try it, and he would choke, gag, all that pleasant stuff. But there was a week when his development just seem to have this epiphany- he got the whole chew and swallow thing down pat and was eating away. This happened on our Tennessee vacation in July and warranted an update to daddy who was still in Md: "He finally figured out how to chew and swallow. He is eating all kinds of things!"

Humm, weird I can't find any pictures of when he is a total mess from eating

 

 

  Speaking of eating, he puts anything and everything in his mouth. I know this is typical baby behavior, but man! Its constant.

A Few Current Favorite Activities of Tristan's: 

Pulling stuff out of the recycle bin, usually once a day. Unfortunately, he often pulls the bin on top of himself as well.

Unloading the dishwaher, climbing into the dishwasher, anything dishwasher

 

 

He simply loves to swing. He smiles and has a grand old time. But he will also, just, almost go to sleep in it when he is tired. When ever I decide its time for him to get out of the swing he has a fit about 99% of the time. 

 

 

Water sports: pool, beach, river, baths. Loves them all.

Some of this other favorite activities (no pictures to go with these, this project is really showing me where I'm lacking in the picture taking department. Or maybe I have an uploading-from-the-camera problem.)

-Emptying all the color pencils out of their holder which is next to the kids's desk. He does this at least 3x a day.
-Crawling up stairs. Gosh, he loves this. I think part of his love of stair climbing is the feeling of joy from  having command of his body and also his motto of....
-"I  want to go where I'm not." I other words, if he is in the dining room he wants to go downstairs. If he is inside he wants to go outside. So if I take him outside he climbs up the porch to go back inside. If funny though, when I put him on the grass in the front yard he always crawls to the driving way and crawls on the cement. But if I take him to the grass island, he will simply sit and looks around. I suppose he doesn't like crawing on the grass too much.

He also spends a lot of time at the top of the steps, confined by gate, staring down at the living room watching Garrett and his friends playing. He is a threshold baby. 

The excitement in this picture is the big machine outside eating up the street in preparations for paving the road.

 

 

 

He also loves playing with the Leap Frog ABC magnate thingy on the refridge. He likes to make the magnets fall out of the airplane. He thinks it is so funny! He tries to put the magnets back into the airplane-he knows they go in there- but naturally he doesn't have he hand coordination to do it yet. 

On account of the time, I'm going to bed. I have more to write but this is good for now.

Giving Myself Permission....

This afternoon I took the boys out to a local favorite nature spot. We meet several friends there. Good friends. Friends who  have been such a huge support to me since Garrett was less then six months old. Friends who I don't see as often as I should these days.

As the children ran around like crazed maniacs, reminding me of Lord of the Flies, we mothers chatted. All morning I had looked forward to this chance to talk to my friends. In essence- pouring half my guts out to them about all my current parenting woes, set backs, frustrations and insecurities. (The children did calm down into more focused playing in the river and I did calm down and made sure others had enough time to chat about their struggles.)  It was a good, very needed visit with these wonderful friends. And I can say it was productive. It wasn't just a gripe session. And, a least tonight, I feel calmer. A bit more OK with my world and not quit desperately feeling so weak, frustrated, like things will never improve.

Tonight I give myself permission to:

• Acknowledge my feelings. Aceept them for what they are: information about me. Information about the condition of my everything. (I say everything about I can't define myself in a nutshell by saying my spirit, emotions, physical, and social self.)
• To accept my feelings with out judging myself or putting myself down, with out the negative self defeating self-talk. In other words, I give permission to love myself without strings attached.
• Hope for a brighter future, a better day. 
• Have patience and love for myself as well as with my family. 
• To celebrate small achievements and improvements, no matters how small they might appear.  

(I did eventually end up in the river and took Tristan in. It was so cute, I took his diaper off and snapped his jumper up. But his jumper is getting too small. He was playing in the water and- sure enough half his buttons had popped open and his little penis was hanging out. It was so funny. He didn't seem to mind.) 

End of Part 1.

Part 2:

On Monday we started homeschooling for the year. Garrett is considered to be in 1st grade. I feel like this year is a our first "real" year homeschooling because we were very unstructured last year, for the most part. I decided yesterday it would be a good idea to write down why I decided to homeschool. I think it will be especially helpful for rough days. So I am going to attempt to write this in a nutshell.

Brian and I come from very different educational backgrounds and experiences. Polar opposites really. And our experiences are really the springboard for the reason we ever even considered homeschooling. I was a very late bloomer academically. I started Kindergarten when I was 6 due to my birthday being Sept 19th. But I really struggled in school. I repeated 1st grade. If you do the math, you will figure that I got my driving license as a freshman in high school! At some point (I want to say around 2nd grade) I was put in "LD" classes (learning disability classes) for just about every subject except math and social studies. (Which is really funny because math is not my strong suite.) I actually remember the testing I went through in order to be placed into this class. And I remember a horrible conversation on the playground when some girl pointed out she had the test done too but it was to be put into gifted classes, and I had to to be put in the LD classes.

I really struggled learning how to read. I don't know that I really cared to learn to read for a while. Well I suppose the desire was there but not enough to struggle through with it. I had a very vivid imagination. I remember one day "reading" a book (looking at the pictures and making up my own story) and my grandma asked "why don't you try to actually read it?" Umm..no. I loved stories though. I remember sitting around during reading time. My books where so boring. I would sit there and instead of trying to read my books independently like I was suppose to, I would instead listen to the other students read out-load with the teacher from there much more exciting readers. When my step-mom, Leslie, entered the picture, I remember her reading The Secret Garden to me (and I know my mom read to me a lot too.) That was lovely- I really liked that story. I remember the Boxcar Children series was really popular back then. I wanted to read them so badly but my reading skills were not good enough. I remember getting sick with the shingle and having to stay home for a whole week, by myself while my parents worked. I picked up the book The Little House in the Prairie (or maybe it was the Big Woods one) and I slowly made my way through it. I think that was a turning point in me- a realization that I really did want to learn how to read better because then this whole world of books would be open to me, with out having to rely on others. So the motivation was there. I was only in that LD class for about 1.5 years (it was great learning style for me too- a lot of independent work which I rocked at, still did when I went to vo-tech in high school to escape high school.) For all my struggle, in 9th grade I was placed in honors English. In college I was also in honors English. I caught up mostly. But I did have holes in my education (mainly from moving a lot. Also from not picking up on concepts fast enough before the class went on to the next subject. This is one of the reasons I really stink at math and am very insecure in math.)

I was a good student. Very willing to please and to learn. But I was a late bloomer for sure. Part of it I think was my personality. I was very shy and introverted as a kid (except with my one best friend.) I was also severely made fun of by other children (this started to go away at about 6th grade but finally stopped at 7th grade. Do the math, don't forget about 2 yrs in 1st grade- that is a lot of time to suffer through being made fun of.) My family life wasn't always very stable either, (I think my parents separated right about the time I entered K) so I know that had some factor in it all too. Even though I was  a good student later in my childhood, I did go to vo-tech starting in the 10th grade to study child development. A huge factor in this choice was to make high school a bit more bearable. But to be honest, I dropped out of high school at the end of the 1st semester in 11th grade. Yup, I'm a high school drop out. But I got my GED in the state of Maryland and I have an actual Maryland High School Diploma.) So....Umm...I think I should have been homeschool. ;) 

Well, my dearest husband had the exact opposite experience. He was always gifted. He was a very smart kid. And is still a very smart adult. He is one of those people that really doesn't have much of an educational weakness. Great at math. Great at writing. He was an early reader. He was reading things like Steven King at a really young age. So young that the librarian at the local library thought he was checking out inappropriate books to read. At some point, he was bused every day to another school in order to attend a class for gifted students. He reports he really liked it. He was challenged and not bored. But things changed. The family moved in order to give his brother a new start in school because his brother was getting in trouble school. His parents though turning over a new leaf would help. Unfortunately, with the move Brian could no longer go to this class for gifted students. He ended up in normal class and was very bored. In fact, he was helping to tutor the other kids. His educational needs were not meet. He did find an outlet for himself, in his own personal time. Computers. In high school his grades were poor. I guess he was just bored and at that point didn't care. He also was struggling with some health issues. He would fall asleep in class. Once when he had fallen asleep in computer class the teacher had had all the students gather around in a circle around him. He woke up and they were all staring at him. (Turns out, he has narcolepsy. And of coarse he fell asleep in computer class. He is a computer guru and has been since he was very, very young.)  

So it is from these two very different backgrounds we come from. Why I want to homeschool? To meet my child's needs, whether those needs are average, slower then average, or gifted. To let my child learn and grown in his own time frame. To be able to linger on a subject that interests him. To be able to linger on a subject he might need extra time to absorb. Or to speed past a subject that he doesn't really care about (although I do think something we have to learn even if we don't really care to learn them!). Basically, to meet his needs. I also want to teach my child to love learning. To teach him how to learn. That learning is never over. Our whole life is one big learning experience. Learning does not stop when the bell brings and we go home on the bus. (oh, or after we finally do our homework.)

I also feel that current public school philosophy pushes too much too fast for our children. The schools are requiring more and more of our young students. Is it really working? I don't think so. I would much rather let the kid play in the mud and be a kid. Academics come soon enough.

I also feel the most natural environment for a child to learn in, is in a place he feels at home. By his mothers knees. Who loves these children the most? Who knows them the best? Mother and Father!

Also, I think there are so many interesting ways to learn. So many different styles of learning. Some many philosophies on education (maybe too many good options!) I want to have options! Why limit a child to one style; public school style? Why limit a child to 4 walls? We are each so unique and individual. What may be good for 20 pupils in a class room probably is not good for at least 1 of them!

Those are my main motivations for wanting to homeschool. There are some other perks, other goals. But its getting late and this is long so I won't write about them.


Tonight I give myself permission to:

• Enjoy the homeschooling ride with my child. Relax and enjoy!
• To have fun
• To let my child grow at his own pace. (To not compare him to others. To not freak out if he is  "behind" his public school counterparts.)
• Not follow the schedule I think I should follow. To take all the time Garrett might need. 
• Be the authority on my child and his educational needs. I know him best.
• Take the pressure off. Its not my job to teach him everything.
• Grow and adapt to my needs and the needs of my children and family
  

Tristan's Birth Story Posted & Rock Star Husband

I wrote Tristan's birth story and a testimonial for one of my midwives. Check it out! When I was under her care she was finishing up her midwifery apprenticeship and she is now a full fledged midwife. She is awesome and is sure to provide wonderful care to many mommies and babies in the year to come. So, if anyone is looking for a homebirth midwife in the MD\DE\NJ\PA be sure to check her out!

Also, the hubby was on a podcast a few weeks ago. He talked a bit about his book and general talk about cyber security, talk about upcoming conferences, and some current issues in his field.. (So my readers of this site probably won't be interested in listening to this really!)

And his signature is on this interesting item up for bid on Ebay (as a fundraiser.)

I keep teasing him he will be on Fox News soon and he says absolutely not. (And really, he is just very humble. I do like to tease him though.)

Oh the Agony!

Lots of stuff going on lately that I could blog about. Lots of passions within me wanting to be voiced on my blog. Lots of 9 month old boy cuteness going on which would be a fun blog post. Well, I don't seem to get around to it very often. It is what it is. I refuse to stress about it.

But here is what I will blog, right now at midnight when I should be in bed. Its agony. I"m the type of girl who, in general, is pretty laid back, but also not. I deal with a fair amount of anxiety, which seems to be getting worse with age. I like to have a general idea of what is in store for my future. I like plans. I have always felt like I don't do very well with adjustments. So I need time. So its just agony not knowing what the future has in store.

Brian and I are seriously considering moving to Columbia (the city, not country.) Fixing up our house (eekk!), packing all our junk away, putting the house on the market, saying a prayer, and crossing our fingers. Searching for a new house, probably increasing the mortgage by way too much (we bought our house 6 years ago and paid under 200k for it so the mortgage is currently pretty darn comfortable.) New town. New friends. New atmosphere.

Why? Because hubby is burned out, bad. (As in, he even had this heart checked out by a cardiologist because of chest pain. The diagnosis- the heart is fine, its the stress that is a problem.) Getting rid of the commute would be one form of stress relief. He has been doing this commute for 7 years. It is getting old. Plus, his job is probably moving their building just a little bit further away. Longer commute. Also, a new job might be in the works. Being closer to Columbia gives him the most job opportunities. Its just a fact that is where the general area where the jobs are for his line of work. The housing market is still doing pretty terrible down there right now but the market up here is doing a bit better. So it would be a good time to move that way while the prices are low (7 years ago we could not afford a house down there! It was a very expensive housing market back then.)

Upsides? I can get a bigger house, finally! Brian will be home more and less stressed, so a happier family. There are a lot of social groups in that area that will work for me (like more homeschool groups and activities.)  Lots of awesome restaurants in the area.

Downsides? Its a busy area. I think this is my #1 long term worry. I love the area we live at now. I love my neighborhood and how there is some character and space to it (can we say "Cookie Cutter Communities" down in Columbia??) I hate rocking the boat financially, I just don't do that very well. And getting our house ready to sell- oh my what work! We have many things which would need fixing up. (Because its easy to live with something when its your house but others have higher expectations.) And painting. I really dread that. My friends...I will really miss them. Sure, we can come visit, but I wonder how long that will last? My family... my parents won't be so close. That will be a downside for me and the kids! And I really just dread fixing up our house and painting (I think I mentioned that.) And we will be moving away from the country- not that we really live in the country. But the country is not that far away here. Its not that hard to find a bit of nature to play in.

So...who knows? Its a viable option we have to really consider. If we go for it I"m not sure how fast or slow we will be. I guess only time will tell.