The Race Is On

A few days ago I wrote a post but I"m not sure I want to share it yet. So here is another post about my life in general.

The rat race is on. Brian is officially writing another book. Its a long, complicated story on how he became the author of this book when he was only suppose to be the technical editor. But suffice to say, he has a talent for mending, patching, and fixing projects gone array. It sure is a stressful talent! He has to write about 200 pages of content in less then a month as well as write a term paper and keep up with his other school assignments. And oh, yeah, something about a full-time job that is also very demanding right now! For me this all means having a husband is might be here in body but is not available. I have to run the house hould\family myself and generally keep Garrett from bugging Brian too much. And in case anyone is wondering- no, writing a book is not glamorous. At least technical books aren't. It is tedious, slow, time consuming, and mentally exhausting. And the money doesn't seem to make up for all the hard work! Its also difficult when the editor is being very strict and limiting. 

I had a pretty enjoyable weekend. I went to a pot-luck hosted by my midwives. It is such a fun community of people to hang out with. Its nice talking to other parents who are like-minded and to share stories and such. I also was fortunate to go out with two of my best friends with out kids! (well, I had the baby. Thanks to my dad for watching Garrett!) I've known these girls for about 5 years and I really can't remember a time of us doing anything together without our kids! I really enjoy their company and they are both so funny. The topic of conversation was still centered on our kids a lot as we were discussing homeschooling for a large majority of the time. I feel so fortunate to have friends who are always available to support me and hopefully I get to support them too. Its been fun to watch our children grow up and watch each other grow as mothers and people. I really feel so fortunate to have such a community of people around me... my mommy friends, church friends, friends through work, my homeschool friends, my childhood friends, my neighbors. I have never felt such part of a community before now!

I made a big decision this past week. I went to my regular doctor and received a prescription to help with anxiety. I've been dealing with anxiety/depression for over a year. About 80% of the time I feel fine but 20% I'm not and that 20% feels pretty horrible! I have taken a natural approach earlier to dealing with it and it helped a lot. But I finally decided that with all the life chances I've gone through lately, it being winter (winter is worse for me!), its been hard to exercise and hard to do self-care in general, I decided I wanted to do something that was a sure thing. Because why feel bad if I don't have to? And why feel bad when there is so much at stake (my happiness, me being a good mom to my kids and available as a wife.) So I did it. Sadly the medication is making me feel a bit sick and I've been a bit sleep deprived lately. But I know the side effects will go away soon.

Lastly, my house is a mess! I can't seem to catch up. Its been hard to stick to routines since having the baby. I'm trying. It seems I do good for a short time and then not so good. I"m hoping my sweet mom will come over soon and help me either clean or just play with my kids so I can have some time to clean. (Cleaning your own house feels really good sometimes!) I think two of the hardest parts about being a mom is never having time to finish a project- everything is done is short periods of time. Second, always seeing your work being undone...."what? I have to do laundry again?? I just did that!" I"m always feeling "behind" in so many areas of my life. But I'm trying to remember what Fly Lady says. She says we are never behind. We are right where we are.